


want you back

by rudeandginger



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, How Do I Tag, Lots of Crying, Songfic, Useless Lesbians, i fail at angst, katies perfect regardless, keep saying it kara til lena believes you, lena danvers has a perfect ring to it, lena is a total softie, ow my heart, repeat stuff repeat stuff repeat stuff, these soft nerds, ugh im useless, we get into that unconfirmed heterochromia, wouldn't it be nicer this way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21667459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudeandginger/pseuds/rudeandginger
Summary: After delivering Lex's journals, ever-observant Kara finally realizes her best friend is pulling away. And she knows why. She can't take her eyes off Lena.Set to "Want You Back" by 5SOS.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 7
Kudos: 225
Collections: wouldn't it be nicer this way





	want you back

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be pure angst. I fail. I'm not good at that, it seems. I just want everything to be soft and happy and lovely for our poor abused Luthor girl, who needs an awful lot of yellow-sun-charged lovin'.
> 
> Whatever, I've been shooting from the hip a lot lately. Like it or leave it, man.

//Can't help but wondering if this  
Is the last time that I'll see your face  
Is it tears or just the fucking rain?  
Wish I could say something  
Something that doesn't sound insane  
But lately I don't trust my brain  
You tell me I won't ever change  
So I just say nothing (say nothing, say nothing)//

"You will always be my best friend."

Lena's tearful words during the Pulitzer ceremony no longer comforted Kara. She'd been living in a daze since then, trying to do her job and repair the trust she'd broken. It wasn't enough, and she was losing. Her greatest fear currently was that it was irrevocable, that no matter how tightly she held Lena's hands in hers, her grip was slipping and Lena was cold, so cold and sad, she didn't want to hang on anymore.

No matter what she said to the contrary, Lena was distancing herself further from Kara with each passing day. It was clear she no longer saw Kara as a valid friend, just someone who could help her with whatever plan she was working on now.

Kara knew perfectly well that Lena had been lying about the reason she needed Lex's journals. Kara had taken the time to copy all the pages before turning them over, and she'd been looking at them too. Lex Luthor was truly a madman; the anti-alien ravings combined with the brilliant plans for bringing her cousin down made Kara's head hurt. She knew Lena was searching for something within the madness. But what? And more importantly, why?

Yes, she could use her superpowers to violate Lena's privacy and bodily autonomy, and while Alex hadn't -asked- her outright to do so, she'd mildly implied that it would be a good thing. But Kara was never going to do that. Not unless it became an urgent, transparent matter of the safety of the planet. Lena had a right to her privacy and to be left alone, and Kara had impressed that onto everyone at the DEO. After the first time it was brought up, she'd listened in on everyone that evening. When a junior agent tried to press the subject with her in the halls, she'd acidly informed him she knew about his issues at home and if he'd like to have them discussed, she would lead the conversation at the next agency briefing. He'd been dealing, not that well, with his wife's satisfaction at home and in bed, and once Kara'd told him she could draw him a diagram so he could find his wife's clitoris for the first time, he had completely backed down.

Never mind that Kara wanted to know what Lena was thinking, desperately. She knew that her best friend was dealing with her betrayal with science, and while she was pretty sure it wouldn't result in her own injury or death, she couldn't rule out anything else. Including harm to Lena herself.

Kara became more convinced as time went on that when Lena said Kara would always be her best friend, she'd meant it in the past tense. That Kara had been the best friend she'd ever had, and no one would ever be her friend again, because betrayal was inevitable.

It made Kara ache. Her body always hurt now, a low-level dull burning that dragged her down and left her in bed longer than normal. There had been days when Kara didn't even want to get out of bed, because she had been so used to Lena coming over and laughing with her til late in the evening.

Kara was the sun, and Lena was her moon, she knew that now. Without her beautiful, somber, perfect moon, Kara's tides couldn't change. The darkness was all-encompassing, and rest became impossible.

//No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back  
No matter how long you're gone, I'm always gonna want you back  
I know you know I will never get over you  
No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back  
Want you back//

Kara flew around the city patrolling, and as she neared the L Corp skyscraper, she couldn't help but focus in on a heartbeat and then breath. She deliberately shut out the frequencies that would allow her to hear what Lena was saying, if she was saying anything. Privacy, Kara reminded herself.

Lena's breathing didn't indicate speech, however. Kara widened her hearing just slightly. Lena was breathing steadily, if a bit elevated, and her heart was pumping calmly. Kara could hear classical music coming from the stereo speakers in Lena's office.

-She's working on something,- Kara thought. -She always plays that one when she's soldering circuitry.-

Tears pricked behind her eyes. She knew what her best friend was doing based on her music choice, for Rao's sake. And that it was normal for Lena to be tinkering with electronics at 1am.

She knew so much about Lena, but Lena had never known the most important things about her. Sure, she'd basically been strongarmed into hiding the truth at first, but the fact of the matter was that she, Supergirl, the hero of National City, was a completely horrible coward.

Kara couldn't help herself. She went and sat on a neighbouring building's roof. She could see Lena through her balcony windows that way.

-Privacy, Kara.- But she couldn't tear her eyes away.

//I remember the freckles on your back  
And the way that I used to make you laugh  
'Cause you know every morning I wake up  
Yeah I still reach for you  
I remember the roses on your shirt  
When you told me this would never work  
You know even when I say I've moved on  
Yeah I still dream for you//

Lena had her hair up in a haphazard bun, and she'd taken out her contacts in favour of her practical, black-rimmed glasses. Kara loved how nerdy and anti-fashion Lena's glasses were, how they were always at odds with everything else she wore. Lena had an image to maintain, and that included always looking expensive and elegant. But during their movie nights, when Lena put on the loose yoga pants and slouchy shirts she left at Kara's, she also took out her contacts.

"It's the real me," she'd said once. "Flaws and all. Only you ever get to see this, Kara."

Kara had smiled, even though her own hypocrisy on the subject made her sick.

Kara watched Lena work on the circuit board, fingers moving deftly as she wielded the micro-forceps and the long, thin soldering iron.

Research and development had always been Lena's first and most abiding love, Kara knew that. Creating where the rest of her family destroyed was at the root of that, Kara knew. Lena worked desperately for good, every day of her life, to atone for the sins of her family. She was stuck with her surname forever, no matter what.

Even if Kara wished in her most secret heart of hearts that one day Lena Luthor would want to be Lena Danvers.

//No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back  
No matter how long you're gone, I'm always gonna want you back  
I know you know I will never get over you  
No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back  
Want you back//

That was a pipe dream Kara needed to give up on, she knew that. She'd always known she couldn't date Lena. Ever. Because of Kara's work and Lena's name on the most superficial level. On the deeper levels, because Kara had been hiding her sexuality from everyone since Alex's coming out had forced her to examine her own feelings. But she'd never felt anything for a human woman until Lena. She'd barely felt anything for human men before that, honestly. But society had expected her to, and she'd had to fit in, disguise herself. Being gay would have rocked the boat too much, especially as a teenager. She hadn't felt anything for anyone as a teen, but she'd done her duty, trying to kiss boys and accidentally breaking their hearts if not their noses.

She'd had a -lot- of time to examine the hows and whys of her relationship with Mon-El. She knew why she'd always acted odd, now. Anytime she'd initiated intimacy with him, it had been because Lena had provoked those feelings in her. It was Lena she wanted to kiss. Lena she wanted to bake for. Lena she wanted to kneel in front of and worship with her mouth. She didn't have much to go on, but she was pretty sure Lena tasted like heaven and goodness and possibly just a little of the whiskey she loved to drink. Certainly better than Mon-El, whose dick had always tasted of sweat and a slightly bitter tinge that Kara couldn't decide was desperation or merely pre-cum. She had hated going down on him, even as he'd always returned the favour and that had been fun. It always seemed like he was taking what he was owed, every time. But Kara dreamt of sinking to her knees, looking up at Lena as she unfastened her slacks or carefully slid her skirt up, and nuzzling in to where she wanted to be as Lena's hands tangled in her hair and her moans became downright -sinful-. Kara just wanted to hear Lena say her name like that, a sigh or a moan as she gave up to the pleasure Kara was giving. Just once. But even just once would ruin them forever, she knew that.

When the Daxamites had invaded, it hadn't been Mon-El she'd wanted to save. She had done everything then not for him, not for the people of Earth, but to save Lena. Scoop her up, away from anyone who wished her harm. Fly her back to her penthouse and find out how that complicated red dress would slide off her curves when unfastened, what that lipstick looked like smeared across Kara's skin from kiss after kiss after kiss. Kara wanted to submit to Lena, be her plaything and her lover, give her everything she possibly could, all for a small but devilish smile that showed Lena really, -really- liked what was happening.

Kara shivered. Even remembering the dress made fire trickle through her veins and settle low in her belly. Lena looked so amazing in red. In any colour, for that matter.

Kara had taken a roundabout journey through the sexuality rodeo, for sure. She still wasn't sure what label she ought to apply to herself, which pride flag she ought to buy. If nothing else, however, she knew she was attracted to silky dark hair, slim curves, and intelligent, cunning eyes. The contacts were tinted, one ever so subtly different, to hide that one of Lena's beautiful eyes was light blue while the other was light green.

"Why do you hide it?" Kara had asked the first time Lena had worn glasses around her. "It's so unusual, and pretty as well."

"Because heterochromia is not becoming of a Luthor," Lena had replied, too quickly. "We can't be seen as defective. It's bad enough I need corrective lenses in the first place."

Kara had gasped and pulled Lena into her arms. "It's beautiful, Lena. Your eyes are beautiful, and that's all!"

Lena had hugged her back, but the tension in her body had remained. Kara knew the insult, most likely inflicted and perpetuated by Lillian, ran so deep she might never be able to surmount it.

Lena, beautiful good perfect loving Lena, had been broken down again and again by the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, and it bruised Kara's soul a little more every time she thought about it. Lena rarely spoke about her childhood, but Kara knew she'd been abused, both physically and mentally, in countless underhanded ways. But it spoke to the resilience and strength of Lena's soul that she still trusted, still cared, still loved.

All of the fragile, wonderful things, so hardwon, that Kara had betrayed and destroyed in the end.

Kara felt like throwing herself off the edge of the building and not reacting at all. Ending her miserable existence, where she had betrayed all her own personal tenets of conduct, seemed not only viable, but attractive.

But then she thought of Lena's beautiful eyes filled with sadness and tears. Sadness she couldn't do anything about, because she was dead. Kara shook her head. It wasn't an option, not even for a moment. A thought exercise, sure. But only thoughts, and idle thoughts at that, promptly banished for morbidity.

-You can do something about the sadness in her eyes now, Zor-El,- Kara thought wistfully. -You should.-

But she couldn't force herself to fly. She should go talk to Lena. She ought to talk to Lena. Confess every last secret she'd been keeping, and them maybe Lena would stop working on whatever it was she had in front of her, because it wouldn't be needed anymore. Not with Supergirl by her side, arms around her warmly, kisses pressed--

Kara groaned. Absence wasn't only making the heart grow fonder. It was tinging her thoughts with desperation. She had to talk to Lena, let her know.

-Kara loves Lena,- her blood sang as it pumped through her veins. -Love love love. Love Lena.-

Kara buried her face in her hands.

//You know even when I say I moved on  
You know even though I know that you're gone  
All I think about is where I went wrong//

After a moment, Kara returned to watching. And wanting. And dreaming.

She'd wait til Lena's shoulders dropped in relief, that the important task of the moment had been conquered and she could pause. Then Kara would fly in and skim her fingertips down both of Lena's arms lightly, dropping her head to rest her cheek against the severe ponytail Lena was wearing.

Then, at Lena's sigh of welcome, she'd wind her fingers around Lena's wrists and get her to lay down the iron and spare components, pulling her gently out of the chair and slipping Lena's arms around her neck before winding her own arms around Lena's waist.

"I love you, Lena," she would say softly, almost a whisper. "I'm in love with you."

Lena would do that half-smile, half-sob thing Kara was helpless against. "I'm in love with you too, Kara."

"Then let's make it work." Kara would kiss her, then, and get her permission to fly them away to either of their houses. Kara wasn't sure what she'd do if Lena was in her bed like -that- for the first time. But she knew she could always ask, and they'd figure something out together.

Kara missed their togetherness more than anything else. Lena's time and friendship had always been a gift Kara took for granted even as she knew it was undeserved. Lena Luthor was sparing with her affection, because over twenty years of conditioning had taught her that no one could be trusted. Not friends, not lovers, and certainly not family.

Yet she had placed her trust in Kara, and Kara smashed it into a thousand pieces. Being dubbed a Superfriend had made Lena happy, she saw that, but behind Lena's sweet smile and chuckle was debilitatingly sad eyes. Sure, she was trusted with keeping Supergirl safe, -now-, but she had come so late to the game as opposed to the rest of the group...and Kara knew that was tied in with her surname, no matter how she personally insisted otherwise.

Because yes, -yes-, the DEO, the Superfriends, and even Alex were far too quick to pull the Luthor card whenever things went just a little wrong. It seemed like only Kara ever placed trust in her, and only because Lena didn't -know- Kara's super identity. She realized she had so, so much to work on before she could truly ask Lena to talk.

And the whole time, Kara knew, she'd still be focusing on those beautiful lips and sweet, sad, exhausted eyes rather than the subject matter. She was so ridiculously in love with Lena that it was all she could think of, now. And she couldn't do anything about it. Lena was so hurt, so betrayed that she would almost certainly believe any declarations of love to be further psychological warfare.

//You know even when I say I moved on  
You know even though I know that you're gone  
All I think about is where I went wrong  
Yeah I still dream for you//

Kara just watched Lena solder, delicate hands doing even more delicate work. She was referencing some page in Lex's diary, and Kara couldn't immediately make the connection. She filed the page number away in her mind to go over it later. She didn't want to devote any brainpower to things like that when she could watch Lena work. Watch the beautiful hands with the short nails of an engineer flick and fly across the small workspace. Kara supposed Lena was doing this at her desk because the white surface helped and her chair had to be comfier than the stools she knew were down in the labs.

-Go to her,- Kara's body urged. -Go.-

-No,- her mind answered back. -She's working. And she doesn't love us anymore. We deserve that.-

//No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back  
No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back  
I'm always gonna want you back//

Kara felt the tears rolling down her cheeks, eyes refusing to close or look away. Her best friend, her person, her love had been sending signals to go away. Go away unless I can use you, because that's what Luthors do, use people. That's what Lena had been saying with her constant cancellations of social plans, deflections in conversation. If Kara pushed for connection, Lena would give it, but the hugs and hand-holding just weren't the same anymore. Nothing was the same. It had all been ruined, and Kara had been the agent of destruction.

Once again, Kara felt despair wash over her as the tears fell. She was a garbage person for lying to her best friend for so long. Just utter, complete trash masquerading as a good person, the superhero saving the city while unable to tell her truth to the person she cared for most.

Kara sighed, and then an angry wave of rash thoughts overwhelmed her. And before she could stop herself, she wrote and hit send on a devastating text.

"I have been in love with you for years. I'm sorry I ruined everything between us."

She heard the soft buzz of Lena's phone with her super hearing a moment later.

Lena glanced over with a slight head turn but didn't pick up her phone. She went on soldering until she came to some predetermined stopping point, and then she reached for her phone.

Kara waited as Lena thumbed a reply.

"Please stop lying so I'll talk to you. My heart can't take you saying things you don't mean."

"Everyone will tell you if you ask?"

"Everyone else lied to me too. Just stop."

Kara watched Lena slide her hands over her face. Watched the slim shoulders begin to shake.

//No matter how long you're gone, I'm always gonna want you back  
I know you know I will never get over you  
No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back  
Want you back//

"Please let me in, Lena?"

Kara didn't hear the phone buzz.

"Lena, are you there?"

"You've blocked me, haven't you."

Kara flew over to the balcony, landing softly. She knocked on the glass door.

Lena put her head down and kept crying.

Kara knocked harder.

"Go away!" Lena sobbed.

"No," Kara called through the glass. "Let me in!"

Lena screamed and threw the phone behind her without lifting her head, hitting the glass.

Kara heat-visioned the door lock.

"I'm calling security," Lena hissed as Kara let herself in.

"They'll take ninety seconds and I barely need thirty," Kara snapped back.

Lena lifted her head. Her eye makeup was smeared and her cheeks were blotchy, and the snarl on her lips broke Kara's heart, but she was still the most beautiful creature Kara'd ever laid eyes on.

"I love you, Lena Kieran Luthor. I have been in love with you for, by my reckoning, over two years. I am the biggest idiot in the world, and the biggest coward. I let myself fall in love with you while knowing I could never tell you without telling you about all sides of me."

Lena blinked, but her angry expression held.

"You're my best friend. You taught me the meaning of true friendship and loyalty, things I haven't been able to return in kind. You're the person I feel the most comfortable with. I could be myself around you, without having to take Supergirl into account. I cherish that more than anything else. You gave me that gift, Lena, and all I've ever given you was half-truths and lies."

Lena nodded.

"These are my truths. My name on Krypton is Kara Zor-El. You saved my people with the Harun-El. I never wanted to be a superhero, but Alex was on a plane that was going to crash and I couldn't let her die. It was caught on video, and that's how the lie that is Supergirl started."

Lena arched one perfect eyebrow, and Kara wanted to fall at her feet.

"Supergirl is a lie. Because she isn't really me. I've spent my life from age thirteen to now being Kara Danvers, and that's all I've really ever wanted to be. I didn't mean to become so close to you. I didn't mean to become your best friend. I didn't mean to fall in love with you. But you loved Kara, even though you had your differences with Supergirl. And so I was a coward, because how could you still love me if you knew?"

"I thought you had a higher opinion of me than that," Lena managed to reply icily.

"I do. That was my own insecurity talking, my cowardice," Kara replied. "It held me prisoner until the night I told you. And I thought we would be okay. I was naive to think so."

"I have done as much as I can," Lena whispered. "I want to keep the world safe just as much as you do."

"I want my person back!" Kara cried suddenly. "What good's the world if I don't have you?"

Lena closed her eyes. "You say all these sweet things. How do I know you're not just trying to keep the last Luthor too close to hurt you?"

"Then -hurt- me, Lena." Kara's voice steeled. "Please just hurt me instead of freezing me out like this."

"I'd break my fist on your face," Lena scoffed.

"I'll take you to the red sun training rooms at the DEO," Kara replied. "I don't want there to be any boundaries between us, like I said."

"Everyone needs boundaries," Lena challenged. "They're healthy."

"How do I know what's healthy when you're the first person I've ever fallen in love with?"

"Stop. Saying. That." Lena ground her teeth.

"No. Not unless it stops being true. I'm in love with you, Lena. I fell in love a long time ago. With you."

"I am not someone to love!" Lena hissed angrily. "When will you get that through your thick, stupid alien -skull-?"

"Never, because you're lying whether you acknowledge it or not." Kara took a step toward Lena. "You are lovable. I love you, Lena Luthor."

"No, you don't!" Lena's hands balled into fists.

"I do. I'm in love with you."

"I told you to stop saying that!"

Kara set her jaw. "I, Kara Zor-El, am in love with you, Lena Luthor. This is a fact."

Lena sank down in her seat and covered her face with her hands again.

"I love you. I think I always will. I'm a coward and I'm trying to do better. That starts with telling you every last one of my truths. I'm Kara Zor-El, formerly the last daughter of Krypton, and I'm in love with an amazing woman by the name of Lena Luthor."

Lena began to cry again.

"She's unbelievable, you know. She started from a life of gaslighting and violence, and most people would have ended up mad or evil. Instead she has the biggest heart I've ever seen, and the most brilliant mind. She uses her riches to better humanity and society. Rao, I don't even deserve being spit on by her, let alone be her friend. But she let this ditzy blonde reporter into her life, somehow. And maybe I was just so scared she'd leave me if she knew about my night job. She doesn't need me. She's never needed me. But by Rao's light, I -need- her. I think I've already proven I'll do anything for her, especially now that I don't have to lie. And I will, I'll do anything she asks me to."

"No, you won't," Lena murmured.

"Okay, that's true. Because even though she's told me to, I won't leave." Kara pulled in a large breath. "Because I need her, and if I leave, I know I'll lose her forever."

At that, Kara knelt in front of the chair. "Please, Lena. If you don't keep me, I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Do...what?"

"Any of it." Kara made a vague gesture. "I already want to go throw myself into the sun because I'm making you cry."

Lena scoffed. "Why would you put your continued existence on me like that?"

"Because I'm stupid and a coward," Kara replied, deflating. "You're right. I can't even love right."

"I don't know what to do with you, Kara," Lena exhaled.

"Could you look at me...?"

Lena let her hands drop away from her face, and she swiveled the chair to face Kara. As their eyes met, Kara flinched at the despair and destruction she saw. She'd shattered the woman she loved, that much was plainly obvious.

"Lena, I love you," Kara said slowly. "I am in love with you, and I've never known what to do with that truth. The only thing I want in this world is to keep you, however you'll let me, and for you to keep me. Feeling you pull away from me this last while has destroyed me, because it's honestly the right thing to do. But I don't want you to do the right thing. I'm a coward, I'm weak, I'm a liar, and I just want you back. I'm always going to want you back."

Lena closed her eyes. "I don't know how to deal with this, Kara."

Kara picked up one of Lena's hands and pressed it to her cheek, then the other, so Lena was holding Kara's face. "Neither do I. I just want to be able to earn you back."

"We can't ever go back to what we were," Lena replied softly. "That was all based on lies."

"Could we build something new together?" Kara let her hands drop, to see if Lena would keep her hands there. "Would you be open to that?"

Lena opened her eyes and looked down into Kara's. "I want to say yes...but..."

"But?" Kara stayed very still.

"I'll always be scared of what you're hiding from me now. Or lying to me about."

"I deserve that," Kara murmured. "But I'll always be truthful with you from now on. No more secrets. No more boundaries between me and you. I promise not to have any anymore."

"Everyone needs boundaries," Lena insisted gently.

"You can establish any that you want and I'll respect them," Kara replied. "But I can't have any myself. Not when it comes to the woman I love."

Lena sighed and closed her eyes. "What do you want from me, Kara? Truly."

"More than you're ready to give me," Kara said. "But...maybe for right now, you could unblock my number?"

Lena nodded. "I can do that." She opened her eyes and looked down into Kara's sad blue ones.

"And...could I see you again soon? In the next couple of days, maybe? If your schedule allows, of course."

Lena nodded again. "Do you want to...have lunch?"

Kara smiled, closing her own eyes just briefly in happiness. "Yeah...please?"

Lena smiled back softly and brushed the pads of her thumbs across Kara's cheekbones before pulling her hands away. "Okay. Will you get the scones from Dublin again?"

Kara grinned. "Every day if you want them!"

"Every day is a bit much," Lena replied, a laugh in her voice.

"I'm prioritizing you, for once," Kara said firmly. "You're my best friend and I'm in love with you. You need to come first, finally."

Lena's smile stayed but her eyes shifted to sad. "You will always be my best friend, Kara."

Kara grabbed the closest of Lena's hands and kissed it before she could think. "I love you, Lena."

Lena sighed. "Foolhardy as I am...I love you too, Kara."

Kara smiled against Lena's knuckles and kissed them again. "Thank Rao for that."

"Come on," Lena whispered after a moment, "get up. Supergirl can't be seen on her knees in front of a Luthor. What -would- the press think?"

"My company is devoted to clickbait now, so maybe I'd get a raise." Kara remained where she was.

Lena sighed. "God, Kara, I'm so sorry about that. Had I known..."

Kara shook her head and kissed Lena's hand again. "In the past. Too late to do anything about it now."

Lena sighed again, ruefully. "Can you forgive me?"

"Yes. But you have to promise me something."

Lena's eyebrow quirked.

"If I asked, would you promise there'd be a position at L Corp for me?"

Lena gave a sharp laugh. "You could write your own job description -and- salary and I'd sign the papers, Kara. Anyone you wanted to bring with you from CatCo, as well."

"I love you, Lena." Kara smiled.

"I love you too, Kara." Lena smiled back.

"Hey, it's late," Kara said after a moment of simply enjoying Lena's happy expression. "Shouldn't you get home?"

Lena smirked, shrugging. "You know how I am with circuitry."

"Why don't you just clean up now and then the Super Express can take you home?"

"Kara, I -hate- flying," Lena protested gently.

"I'm faster than any planes -and- I have the safest seat belts around. Two of them." Kara flexed her biceps, which earned a giggle from Lena.

"Oh, all right." Lena smiled, then swiveled back to the desk to put her work away.

Kara stood up and made a point of leisurely examining the artwork scattered around the room so that Lena didn't feel rushed. It -was- all very nice, expensive-looking art. But there was one small, framed piece of art that looked so out of place that Kara bent down slightly to look at it.

It was a very crudely drawn crayon piece, two human-like figures, one much taller than the other. The tall one had black hair in what had to be a ponytail and the short one had orange hair in riotous curls. The scene was outdoors, bright spiky green grass jaunty, and a house off to the right. There was some sort of black and white four-legged creature between the two humans and the house.

"Her name is Kayla," Lena said, breaking Kara's concentration. "That's me visiting her at her home. Her dog, Bailey, is jumping out to meet us as we come in."

"How old...?"

"She should be ten now."

Kara looked up to see Lena looking her way, the most tender expression she'd ever seen on the woman's face. "How do you know her?"

"Her family was killed in one of Lex's infamous Metropolis attacks. She was in the hospital at the time for a rare bone cancer, and Jack and I had been working on her condition to give ourselves a break from nanites. Once I opened the Luthor Family Children's Hospital here, I had her transferred immediately so that I could work on her cure as quickly as possible."

"But...the house? The dog?"

"Her adoptive family. I screened -very- carefully. Her mothers went through security clearances even you'd be hard-pressed to name. And when she had three completely cancer-free scans in a row, she went home with them."

Kara saw Lena swallow with difficulty before continuing.

"When she came back for a check-up, I'd been told she asked to see me. We went into one of the playrooms together and she told me about her new life, and how she missed her first mommy and daddy very much but she was happy to have a family again. And how happy she was that I made it so she didn't have to keep getting poked by machines. That's how she put it."

Lena's eyes were glittering with tears now, Kara could see that.

"It wasn't me who made the breakthrough, in the end. That was Jack. He was the one who saved her. But Kayla thinks it was me, because I was present for most of her treatments. And she drew that picture of when I would be able to go see her at her new home with her puppy Bailey who gives a lot of licks and thumps his tail on the legs of the dining room table."

"Have...have you gone to see her?" Kara asked softly.

Lena shook her head. "That's why that picture's there. Once my mother came back into my life, things have never slowed down enough that I could. So I keep that, there. Eye level when I'm at my desk. To remind me of how I fail, constantly."

"-Lena!-" Kara gasped, almost a sob. "I'm sure if Kayla knew you were saving the world, she would be okay that you haven't come to visit! Maybe she watches the news."

Lena turned away. "It doesn't matter. She's growing up knowing that adults will lie to get what they want, what makes them feel better. She'll go into the world as a young adult a step ahead of her peers."

Kara stalked over to Lena and caught her up in a hug. "We will go next week sometime. We can tell her how you have the pretty picture you drew her in your office, and how happy you are to see that she's happy. And if she isn't happy, we'll fix it."

"You and me...?" Lena laid her head on Kara's shoulder, voice dangerously unstable and wobbly.

"You and Kara Danvers. Kayla already has a hero in you, she doesn't need Supergirl." Kara tightened her hold.

"Kara..." Lena's tears spilled over.

"Come on, let's get you home," Kara whispered after a few moments of letting Lena cry herself out in her arms. As upsetting as it was to see Lena's tears, Kara knew the therapeutic value of crying. -And if she cries in my arms,- Kara thought rather selfishly, -then I can be the one who eases her pain.-

"Okay," Lena whispered, shifting her body to the side so Kara could scoop her up easily.

"You're going to bed after this," Kara whispered back, gathering the woman she loved more than anything else into the close, warm bridal hold that signified her strength and safety.

"Only if you stay," Lena murmured into her neck.

"I love you."

"Love you too."

//No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back  
No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back  
I'm always gonna want you back//


End file.
